I cannot say that all Wintel users are obnoxious. After all, my wife works on them, and in the interests of family harmony I will resist such generalizations. (Though I hasten to add that she is a forced user at work, and not a true lover, of Wintels.) But there are obnoxious ones out there. I speak from experience. I knew a person several years ago with whom I had very little in common, although chance had thrown us together on a committee. As the President of this committee it was my job to keep it in line, and give it a sense of direction. He didn't like this, and appeared to choose my Mac loyalty as the method by which he would question my authority, being the passive-aggressive type that he was. His favorite line was, "So you own a Macintoy." You know the point of course: The Mac is a toy and not a real computer, it is not a real machine. But if you think about it, this claim is actually a complement.

Why is this claim is supposed to be slander? To see, ask, "What is a "toy"?" Literally, a toy is something children play with. So the slander is two-fold if you think about it. When someone says to you, "The Mac is a toy," you should understand him as making the following two claims. First, that YOU are a child; you are immature for using a Mac. This is a very personal put down to say the least. If you were to grow up then you might, once the scales fell off your eyes, see the error of your ways, and you would put away childish things, like the Mac itself. Grown ups, the up-shot is, use Wintels. Second, the slander is that the Mac is a plaything; it is not a serious tool, it is not a real machine. Real men, the complainant is saying to you, use Wintels.

This literal claim is now laden with symbolic meaning. Consider the nuances of "child" and "grown up." A child is someone who cannot think for himself; he is not independent; he is not serious; he is not able to perform productive work. The symbolism is obvious: Those who use a Mac cannot (and I have heard it put several ways), build his own computer, program his own machine, get "inside of it" to tweak it, and so on. In a word, one who uses a Mac is one who must have another do all the important things for him. The Mac is simple to use only because, they believe, it is made for simple minds. A grown up (read Wintel user) is just the opposite of these: She is someone who can do all these things, and can stand on his own two computer feet. You need training wheels, but he does not. When someone says "The Mac is a toy" this is what he is saying about you, and this is what he is saying about the Mac. That's the way it is with some Wintel users.

Now think of the nuances of "toy." A toy, if it is anything, lacks seriousness. It does not allow one to get work done. Imagine having to tighten a screw and you pick up your child's plastic screwdriver. You will fail in your task. You pick up a toy not to get any work done. No. A toy is a diversion from work; if you want to be unproductive then you pick up a toy and waste time. Or, you play with it, which is not always a waste of time. That is all a Mac is good for. If you want to do serious work, then you should use a Wintel box. So this is the claim the Wintel lover makes.

And we thank him. You have to get inside the mind of the Wintel lover at this point (as much of a horror as that is), to see the hidden meaning behind the insult. Or rather, you have to interpret his behavior in light of his subconscious motivations and frustrations. The slander is actually an expression of frustration with Wintels rather than a Mac insult. Isn't this obvious? When you consider the Freudian sub-text of the complaint it is really an expression of Wintel dissatisfaction; and the louder they make it, the more dissatisfaction and anger they have sublimated. This sublimated anger and frustration is repressed and then expressed in all kinds of fascinating ways, if you watch closely. They "accidentally" crash their machines so they to not have to deal with them. So is it any wonder so many Wintel users are depressed? After all, said Freud, "depression is anger turned in side out." They know they cannot express their anger outright because too many Wintel mores stand in wait to put them back in line; rather than face the threat from the societal mobs they attack the Mac as a toy. When someone claims, in keeping with this Freudian interpretation, "The Mac is a toy" what he is actually saying is, "At least you can play and have fun with your machine; I can do neither on any Wintel." In fact, they feel guilty having fun with a computer; they have been programmed (the user not the computer), not to enjoy their machine. It is for work. Why do you think games are so popular among Wintel users? It at least makes the thing fun, or as fun as it can be. So they try, they try to enjoy the Wintel experience. But when thy do it feels incestuous, because a Wintel isn't meant for it. That's where the Mac stands out: It looks fun and it is fun, and they resent it. Insults such as my friend made, "Macintoy," are simply defense mechanisms designed to help them forget their pitiful situation. If Freud were alive today, he might call this "Mac envy." Or better yet, sublimated Wintel frustration repressed through defense mechanisms issuing in passive-aggressive behavior and rudeness.

As I was Apple detailing at a local store a few weeks ago, a salesperson said to me, as we stood next to a blueberry iMac, "They're cool. They look like toys." The positive tone of his statement suddenly hit me: "Yes, it does look like a toy. And thank god for it." And now the real meaning of "toy" presents itself to us. Think of the many ways we use the word "toy" and you will see why the Mac is one and why that is such a good thing. When a friend bought a new car, we kidded him about his new "toy"; some say that the new Pismo we got, or the Palm III we have, are our "toys"; there are commercials about electronics being "grown up toys." All these uses of "toy" contain the meaning of something fun, or playfulness. The language of sex, for us adults, is filled with this same playfulness and fun: It is how adults play, among other ways. (Is this the Mac mystique?) The Mac is a toy because it's fun and even playful; and it looks fun. The recent hardware designs of Apple have only re-enforced this playfulness. They make everything we do with them fun, or at least more enjoyable. They can take a thankless task and turn it into something we enjoy; it can take something we have to do, something we must do, and make it something we want to do. In fact, we might look for excuses to work if that means spending time on our Mac. I know that is how it is with our new Pismo.

I was on a forum today and someone made this comment: "This powerbook is my main work and play computer, the only problem is I bring my work home with me every day...then again I also bring my play to work with me." I love this comment! There is some concern about whether the proliferation of technology isn't breaking down the barriers between work and home, and whether this is a bad thing. I do not think it is good myself. But the comment this person made not only suggests that work and home are being blurred, so, if one uses a Mac, are work and play. If the Mac can make work play, then I can live with that. How many people, after all, do not enjoy their work? How many people, everyday, must force themselves out of bed to go to work? Work is synonymous with labor for them. But if in a small way a colorful machine and clean interface can turn labor to play, then that is a good thing (at least if one is not a Marxist!).

Consider also: You will find some Mac authors making the following statement (or at least I have from time to time): Have you ever heard a Wintel user say he loves his machine? The implicit answer is no. If they have a love-hate relationship with their machines, then it is more hate than love. I have heard Wintel users say they love their machines (meaning "really enjoy"), though I often think it is for my, a Mac user's, benefit rather than the truth. But there is no doubt that many love their Macs, becoming almost pathologically attached to them. We call it "applelust." But maybe there is something else here. If in fact Macs make work play and labor fun, if they are playful, if they do connect us in some deep way to our youth when play was okay, is it any wonder people love these things?

And I think it was John Martellaro who wrote an article many months ago about the difference bringing Macs into an office environment made. The playful look brightened up everyone, and made them more productive. Is this any surprise? Think about it. If in fact Macs look and feel fun and playful, then imagine what they do for the user. Obvious answer: It makes him feel young again, when playing was okay, and even encouraged. What could be a better boon to being productive than this? Now I could at this point talk about how Mac servers using WebStar were less susceptible to hacker attacks on US Army sites than Windows machines; I could talk about how graphics pros overwhelmingly use Mac (pros, I said, not children); I could talk about how much more stable Macs are than Windows machines. I could, in a word, show how Macs have synthesized work and serious play. But I won't. Too many Mac users know it already; too many Wintel users won't get it. Nonetheless, if any Wintel lovers want to call the, one, two, three, four Macs we have here at home "toys" that is fine with me. Now if you don't mind, I'm gonna go play . . . no, work . . . I mean play . . . I mean both.

David Schultz